It's impossible to be No. 1 in one field. Choose two fields, and challenge anyone to beat you on both.

The only ones who can hurt you don't want to hurt you.

The world balances itself not to be too happy.

I was so glad to think up this idea, before realizing Buddhists have thought of that 2500 years ago.

As we enjoy the finer things in life, we lose appreciation of the smaller things.

A procrastinator reads a Wikipedia article on procrastination before going to work.

Songs depict eras.

How women see themselves:
1960s: Helpless without boyfriends
1980s: Loving but independent
2000s: Life of the party

How men like their women:
1960s: Fun-loving
1980s: Sexy
2000s: Slutty

Internet news is like fragments of a Sunday-thick newspaper. You can flip over to the sports page and read for hours, without noticing the front page however large the headlines may be.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -- Douglas Noël Adams